2 New untitled poems

She appears intent in her task
Of writing, studying, reading
With head bent dilligently over the books
Eyes scanning the page quickly

But what the casual observer does not know
Is the anxious wondering of her heart
What time would it be tonight?
Will her heart's want be fulfiled?

Loving thoughts of her loved one
Separated from her by distance
Too far to touch, to feel, to hold
But near in heart and in mind

The waiting, watching vigil she keeps
Night after night of anticipation
Of hoping against hope
That a ring would pierce the silent night

~ 8 july 04-0230hrs
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A girl learning to be a woman
On her journey in the sea of life
Trying her hardest to hold on
As her vessel threatens to sink

Her perception of herself
Is that she is second best
Everything she is and does
Is never enough, never good

Never enough to satisfy those around her
Who poison her mind with words
Finding fault is what she does
In who she is

Tossed and turned by the tempest
Her life is hard, troubled and fill with misery
She is disheartened by what she hears
Failing to please everyone

My heart aches for her
How I long to protect, to teach her
To make her believe in herself
And to ignore the nagging whispers

For these whispers bring nothing but destruction
Of life, of self-image and of hope
One should do what one believes is right
And stand firm to uphold what one believes

~ 8 july 04-0300hrs

My life, not yours

Confused, Bewildred
For what should I do
What do I say
I want to yell, scream

I tread the path of life
Unsure which path to take
Society give rules, regulations
Which I must conform, follow

Its like being contained in a glass box
Being able to look out
But unable to be free, move around
Pounding on the glass in vain

Why can't I be myself
To be free, spread my wings
To soar, to touch the skies
To live life as I want to

Its my life anyway....

Melancholic Rain

I stood near my window today,
Watching the rain fall,
Letting go of all thoughts,
Just closing my eyes and listening.

The rumbling thunder in the distance,
Water trickling down my window,
Droplets of rain on the glass,
Making soft pattering like children running.

Like washing my pain away,
My hurts, my pain, my life,
Evoking emotions deep inside,
Bringing longing to my heart.

Longing for home, for the people I miss,
For the memories I hold dear,
For the loved ones I left behind,
And a single tear, like rain, flows down my cheek.

NOTES : Wrote this in the bus while it was raining and the song "Emotions" by Destiny's Child was playing on the radio.

Missing You

The cold air blows from the outside
Chilling me as the ceiling fan whirrs slowly
A cockerel crows in the distance
Heard early in the morning - 5 am

I'm sitting in the dark
In silence, all alone
As my fingers typing on the keyboard
Is the only sound heard in d house

Others are in their beds
Blissfully sleeping soundly
And whisked away in dreams
Traveling in worlds unknown

Here I am, missing you
Wishing you were here
Wishing I could hug you
But reality hits me hard

"I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind"
The song plays in my head
Mocking me with it's true words

I reminisce of the times we spent together
The joys & laughter we shared
But now we're miles apart
And missing you brings an ache to my heart

I miss you.......

Dedicated to all my friends, but most especially Lola in Bintulu & Grace in
Kuching.

Authors Note : This was a spontaneous poem written late at nite (5am !) while I was especially missing my 2 best friends.

Previously Posted/Published in : fictionpress, coconutice.blogspot.com

Crimson Butterfly

A white pair of wings flits by softly
Passing valleys, streams and rivers wide
Resting on flower beds, bushes and trees lazily
In and out of beautiful petals it hides

A picture of serenity we behold
Of a white butterfly passing by
But something is about to happen
To wreck havoc in this peaceful world

A sound is heard in the distance
The only sound which breaks the silence
A fast-moving object whizzes through the air
As a small sharp bolt moves intently on its target

Then suddenly, the butterfly stops in midair
And falls to the ground slowly
It lies on the ground with wings outstretched
And a silent cry echoes through the woods.

Unexpectedly blood gushes out of its frail being
Leaving its white wings stained
Bloody crimson on pure white, a sharp contrast
A lifeless creature soon to be forgotten.

Soon after, a thunder resounds
And soft raindrops fall on the earth
Cleansing the earth, leaving it pure again
And hoping for a better future

Authors Note : It actually took me almost 2 months to come up with this poem. Saw the phrase "Crimson Butterfly" from a game and started formulating the whole thing before actually writing it down. Obviously it isn't really about a butterfly. Its more of a portrayal of a helpless person. Like children being abused, rape victims.people like thatwho are innocent but are hurt by someone else.

Previously Posted/Published in : fictionpress

Uncertainty

The agony of waiting
Anticipation, worry & distress
Causes tesion & stress
As my futere hangs on a thin line

Sleepless nights, unsettles rest
I stay awake staring at the ceiling
As the question gnaws my mind
"What will happen to me?"

I stand alone, the choice is my own
Which path should I walk upon
At a major crossroad in my life
Im forced to decide the best

But is it for me?


Authors Note :


Previously Posted/Published in :

Childhood Memories

Eating icecream after school
Jumping merrily in playgrounds
Wading into muddy pudles
Memories of a blissful childhood

Where thoughts pure and good
Fly around in our minds
Laughing without a care in the world
Ah, the innocence of youth

Dont you miss those days of fun?
Which our now hectic lives rob us of
Growing up takes away pleasures
Only a young child will appreciate

Stressed out and troubled
With demands of many upon us
We're expected to succeed
To excel, no matter what the cost

Childhood brings memories of happy times
Memories of fun, laughter and love
Simple things, fundemental iun life
Fast slipping out of our growing hands

Authors Note : I miss those carefree days where all we we lived day by day, not caring about the future because we felt secure
Previously Posted/Published in : fictionpress

Untitled

I see in my mind’s eye
An empty field, void of anything,
I see myself in the middle of this field
Looking right and left
Seeing green ground meeting blue horizon
Everywhere I look.

Why? Why am I alone?
My heart cries out in pain
Why? Why this frustration?
I close my eyes and scream
Why? Why am I feeling this?
I get to my feet and run.

Running….endless running
Away from what, I don’t know
Towards where, I have no idea
Does it matter when my life
Seems like a meaningless cycle?

There has to be a way out of this
My heart whispers hopefully
I have yet to find the door
The door that will bring me happiness

Happiness seems like a dream
So far away, out of my reach
I feel tears welling up in my eyes
I bring my hand up to wipe it away
But it has dried up…

Dry tears that never fall from my eyes
Funny how tears seems to be my best friend
Tears that no one but I see
Tears no one even realizes could be there

Tears that no one can stop…
No one can help….

- 9 dec 2003 -

Authors Note : This was written when i was really down. Dont really have a suitable title for it yet. Some people suggested "Tears" but im still kinda considering.
Previously Posted/Published in : www.fictionpress.com/~sikepi

River Dance

Skimming lightly on the water,
To the songs of oceans deep,
In which whales cry to each other,
In a melody soft and sweet.

WIth golden locks covering her face,
And eyes as purple as lavender,
Across the water lay her gaze,
Looking at the moon with all her splendour.

Shimmery robes reflected like gold,
And lily white were her arms bare,
As she dances on the lake so cold,
Lo! The beauty of elven fair.

Authors Note : I kinda had this picture in my mind of a fairy skimming across the water, with like her hair & robes floating (?) behind her as she moves, graceful like an ice skater. Well, i hope i portrayed it well enough :D
Previously Posted/Published in : www.fictionpress.com/~sikepi

An Awakening of Reason

When I look around me and I hear happy laughs
Of groups of friends happily talking and having fun
As they enjoy friendship alone at this corner I observe
I often wonder what's inside behind the mask of mirth

Maybe some secret wound inside which no one ever sensed
Due to some hidden hurt someone inflicted on them
Then I think of the many times I failed to heal those wounds
Inside hearts of friends and family of which I might have caused

I think of times which I failed to brighten up your day
But instead making it worse by my actions or what I say
I realize now that I was wrong I looked like I didn't care
I was heartless and cruel at what I did or said

So here all I want to say is I shouldn't wait another day
To say that I really do care I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way
Would you please forgive me?

Authors Note : It was the end of the year, and i was sitting alone at the corner of my classroom and everyone was busy talking grouped in their own clique. Then i realized that these are the faces that I wouldnt be seeing everyday anymore because we were in our last year for secondary school.
Previously Posted/Published in : www.fictionpress.com/~sikepi